Wedding Planning as a Mother of the Bride: A Venue Owner’s Perspective on Support Over Control

Congratulations Madalin & Cody!

For many years, I’ve worn multiple hats in the wedding industry—wedding cake designer & decorator, venue owner, and wedding coordinator—helping couples and their families bring their dream weddings to life. Throughout that time, one of the most meaningful (and sometimes most delicate) roles I’ve observed up close is that of the mother of the bride.

Now that my own daughter is engaged, I’m stepping into that role myself—and I’m seeing everything through a new lens. While I’ve guided many mothers through the planning process with their daughters, experiencing it personally has been both deeply meaningful and eye-opening.

I’ve learned that one of the most powerful things a mom can do during this special time is to lead with love, offer support, and let go of control—even when it’s tempting to take over.

What I’ve Learned Watching Other Mothers of the Bride

In my years coordinating weddings, I’ve seen so many mothers-of-the-bride show up with good intentions—ready to help, guide, and contribute. And while many do so with grace, I’ve also seen how easily excitement can shift into stress when boundaries blur.

Sometimes, mothers unintentionally take over decision-making, and the bride begins to feel like a guest at her own wedding. It’s not out of malice—it’s out of love, tradition, and a desire for things to go perfectly. But when that happens, it can lead to friction, frustration, and unnecessary stress for both the bride and the family.

Those experiences have shaped how I want to show up for my daughter.

How I’m Choosing to Support My Daughter During Wedding Planning

Now that I’m the one stepping into the mother-of-the-bride role, here’s how I’m applying what I’ve learned:

1. Letting the Bride Lead Her Vision

Even though I have professional experience, I’m intentionally stepping back. My daughter deserves to plan a day that reflects her relationship—not mine. I’m here to help when asked, but I’m not here to override her ideas with my own.

2. Offering Guidance—Only When It’s Wanted

Sometimes brides need a sounding board; other times, they just want someone to listen. I’m learning to ask, “Do you want advice, or do you just want to vent?” before jumping in with suggestions.

3. Trusting the Professionals

Although I run a venue and coordinate weddings

, I’ve decided to let someone else take the reins on the big day. I want to be fully present—to soak up every moment as a proud mom, not a behind-the-scenes manager.

4. Prioritizing Our Relationship Over the Details

No centerpiece, timeline, or seating chart is more important than the joy we share in this season. I want to look back and remember laughter and connection, not tension over to-do lists.

What All Mothers of the Bride Should Know

If you’re a mom preparing for your daughter’s wedding, here’s my heartfelt advice:

• Support without controlling.

• Offer wisdom, but let her make the final call.

• Stay present and grounded—it’ll go by fast.

• Remember the goal: a joyful celebration of love, not perfection.

As a wedding venue owner, I’ve seen weddings from every angle. But now that I’m a mother-of-the-bride, I’m seeing it with new eyes—and a full heart.

This chapter is about grace, growth, and letting go. And while it isn’t always easy, it’s absolutely worth it.

💕— Cathy